23 posts from March 2008

No, this is NOT about how valley girls ruined the word “like” the way Jhonen Vasqueez “ruined” the word “Doom”. This is about how in school (doin’ alot of school stuff lately), generally in 3rd-6th grade, MAYBE 7th, kids will ask other kids, “So do you like me or do you LIKE like me?” I’m not sure that this is a clear description of what they’re asking. Why don’t they just come out and say, “Do you want to hold my hand?” Or, “Do you want to kiss me?” At least those are clear and to the point. It just seems to be another form of a misleading relationship question.

I never did the LIKE like thing. Of course I also was never a girl and they seemed to be the only ones who ever said that. And THAT being said, I also never went through a infatuation with the bad boy phase. I missed out on alot of childhood that was for the opposite sex.

Sometimes I regret being a guy.

M@rk

In my time off, during this vacation, I’d had time to think about things. Which is bad. You people should know by now that giving me the time to think results in these entries. F*cked up entries. POINT. My point, is that one of the things I thought about is college. Late at night, I’ll lay in bed, after I’ve turned my TV off or am done on my comp or am doing writing or reading or w/e, and I’ll start to visualize my future life.
Granted I live past the age 18.
But, anywho, I think about my future life. One of those things, is, college. My brother goes to college. Everyone I think I’ve ever known (or at least close to it) went to or currently resides at a college, and they all talk about how great it is, “When you get to college, life will be different, it will be on your own terms and you can do what you want when you want and it’s gonna be awesome!”

First off, I already can live on my own terms. My life is already that way. I don’t decide when to live. I can’t die, and then go, “Hey, ya know, this dead thing, not my fix, kinda boring, eh, the whole ‘hauntin’ thing gets old FAST, I’m gonna go live on my terms.” Zombies are very unreliable. And secondly, how good could college be when all you ever hear from college campus’s, IS ALL THE BAD SH*T THAT HAPPENS?! Rapes, murders, shootouts, drug overdoses. I mean, college, granted all of that could be fun UP UNTIL THAT POINT, is not considerably a “fun time” in my book.

Of course, my book is also the one nobody is reading, so who am I to complain?

And FYI, I’m not GOING to college.

M@rk

I bought a laser pointer today, at pet club of all friggin’ places, and it just seems hilarious and insensitive. Your cat gets driven out of it’s MIND chasing that thing, and we all just laugh it off. But laser pointers, I have found from just a few fun filled, laugh digested, defying the law hours, can be used for MANY things. For instance, they say it’s not cool to be talking on a cell phone while you drive, and if you have a major case of road rage, just take out the laser pointer and point it in the guys eyes. You may cause a bigger pile up than the guy on the cell phone EVER would, but at least you wouldn’t be late to work, and you’d be able to say, smugly too, “I help the economy.”
Laser Pointers are often used in colleges when professors need to give a presentation. But students now use them in classrooms to IRRITATE the very people who use them. I once saw a movie where someone had a laser pointer on the screen for a few minutes, not very cool. You could also make some badass Halloween costumes just by taping it to your head. Predator, or Terminator. Whichever you choose. Laser Pointers have some very practical uses. I’m not condoning laser pointing to cause traffic accidents or to bug your teacher, or even to play with your cat. I’m just saying they can be used for many things.

The thing I DON’T understand about them is that on the back of the box it tells you “KEEP AWAY FROM RETINA” (your eyeballs, for all you non-scientific folk out there). Yet, people get laser corrective surgery to FIX their eyes. Anybody else see a flaw here? SOMETHING IS LOSING F*CKING GROUND HERE.

M@rk

I just want to end this thing right here and now, your mom jokes, are NOT funny.
It is not funny in concept, idea, of execution, and it is not even funny in theory.
And if there are YOUR MOM jokes, why not YOUR DAD jokes, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, neice, nephew, grandparents, anything, including pets, is up for a joke.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.
Your mom is telling me we should get back to it.

M@rk

So, here in America we have the sort of, not racial I guess, but the slur of calling a homosexual a “Fag”. But since in england, Fags are cigerettes, what is THEIR slur for homosexuals?

This is an example of what I think of after drinking 5 diet cokes, eating a tiny cake (the entire thing with no frosting) and watching Desperate Housewives.

Lesson is, don’t be like me. But I really am looking for the answer to this question, so if you could find it out and report back to me, that would be greatly appreciated. I’d do it myself but I’m busy and….well I’m not gonna lie, I’m just totally lazy.

M@rk

So, sometimes I find news stories so bizzare that they end up here rather than my LJ. Here’s a good one. Did any of you hear about the woman who was attacked by a sting ray while out on a fishing trip, and it stabbed her in the face?

Judy Kay Zagorski, of Pigeon, Mich., was sitting in the front seat of a boat going 25 mph when the spotted eagle ray, with a wingspan of 5 to 6 feet, leaped out of the water, said Jorge Pino, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Something tells me that a stingray barb to the face is going to be the new hip way to get new earing holes made. Or tattoos done, one of the two. Because you KNOW I’m not going to be the first one to think of this. The stingrays are clearly pissed off about something we did because first Steven Irwin and now this woman. They’re mad as hell. And I can’t blame them. Heck, I’d be pissed too if I had to swim around with a giant toothpick on my ass.

M@rk

In a recent blog entry, I asked the question of whether or not anybody else found it interesting that Barrack Obama rhymed with Iraq Osama. I came to find out today that his last name also rhymes with BOMB, and he’s of muslim heritage. The other thing I came to find out was that his middle name is Hussein. This just became the most ironiest ironic thing in the history of ironyism.

So here we have a guy running for the President of those United States (I don’t call them THESE united states, because having that and Bush in the same sentance just seems very, uh….sacriligious to me) who’s name, ultimately is Iraq Hussein Osama, and his last name rhymes with BOMB, and he’s of muslim descent. So America is about to elect a guy who’s people we fear are going to bomb us?

Boy, America, land of the stupid, home of the dumb.
But still I’d vote for him.
Now more for the irony than anything else.

M@rk

So, I was thumbing through my middle school yearbooks just a few seconds ago, and they had a page or two for all the clubs people were in, and one of the clubs a teacher actually suggested to me and a friend of mine at the time, was something called the Knowledge Bowl. We went, it was basically, a classroom with like, 25 students, a teacher, and there were two teams, and it was basically family fued meets jeapordy. And some of the stuff that they asked, kids our age shouldn’t, or didn’t, even know. We thought it was interesting, but, and specifically me more than him, didn’t want to go back. I realize now, that it’s because those kids are NERDS. Not the like, hot geeky gamer girl type nerds or anything, but serious nerds who will grow up to be adult nerds. And my feeling on the whole thing at this point is like, if you won the knowledge bowl (because they had tournaments and everything with other schools too) and this goes for spelling bees too, it’s kind of like, if you win the knowledge bowl, or a spelling bee, it’s like, “Well congratulations, you’re a big DORK!” You’re just going to go to school the next day and have your ass kicked.

I realize that it sounds mean to those who may be in those kinds of groups, and believe me, I have nothing against nerds, I am a total nerd, I just don’t respect them in terms of, social akwardness. I’m the kind of nerd who collects comic books, and plays video games. I’m the hispter nerd, I don’t respect as much the knowledge bowl gotta get great grades nerds. Even though those type of girls are who I’m most attracted to. I have weird tastes in women sometimes, I’m aware. You have to be able to learn social skills, and if this is the case, being in a knowledge bowl, yeah, you’ll learn social skills, but they’ll be ones that are from people who have WORSE social skills than YOU even may.

Sorry about the long entry, I just felt this had to be said.

M@rk

Does anyone find it interesting that Barrack Obama’s name rhymes with Iraq Osama?

Or is it just me who thinks it’d be ironic if he got elected President?

M@rk
(go support Barrack!)