There’s racism, and then there’s different forms of ‘cisms’. People who are left out because they are “minorities”. Ginger kids, or no fat chicks. These are who I mean, but there’s another one, people with glasses. So I have declared “Speckcism”, which is the hatred against people with spectacles.
Now, I LOVE glasses, I’ve always wanted them (don’t tell me, “you’ll hate them once you have them” because NO I WON’T), and I LOVE girls who wear them. My GF does and it’s the sexiest look imaginable. However, speckcism is that bit of hatred against people who have glasses. Nerds in high school movies, and stuff like that. Harry Potter. Daria. Whatever. Whoever. If you’ve ever been discriminated against because you are a victim of Speckcism, then please contact a law firm.
We have to stop Speckcism.
And stop the hate.
Thank you.
M@RK
My GF (’cause she’s so insanely amazing and funny) was showing me some stuff about Fox’s last night. One of the things she found was an archive of fox videos and sounds, and one of those sounds happened to be a mating call. How does that work? I know I’ve never had a mating call, I can’t just call up some girl and be like, “Hey baby, the word of the day is legs, you wanna come over to my house and spread the word?” I can’t do that because for one it would be cheating and two, it would just be WRONG. But how does a fox mating call work? Am I to believe that there’s actually some fox atop a hill somewhere just barking, “MATE! GET YER FUZZY ARSE OVER HERE AND F*CK ME NOW! GET OVER AND F*CKING MATE WITH ME BITCHES!” Is THAT what I’m supposed to believe? NO. That’s just weird. On a sidenote, fox’s apparently yelp something that sounds like “fox!” when they bark. That’s almost as weird as a bear that comes into your campground and roars, “BEEEEEAAAAAAAR!” It just doesn’t work that way.
However, I’ve learned a lot about foxes. The animal, and my gf.
M@RK
Does anyone find it ironic that nobody knows how to spell the word “illiterate”? Even I had to look it up in my comp’s dictionary just to put it in the title. Here’s the definition:
illiterate |i(l)ˈlitərit| adjective unable to read or write : his parents were illiterate. • [with submodifier ] ignorant in a particular subject or activity : the extent to which voters are politically illiterate. • uncultured or poorly educated : the ignorant, illiterate town council. See note at ignorant . • (esp. of a piece of writing) showing a lack of education, esp. an inability to read or write well. noun a person who is unable to read or write.
So there ya go. But I think it’s funny that nobody knows how to spell it. Even in forums, threads and posts people don’t know how to spell, let alone spell that word. I even make mistakes, I’m an english cop, but christ, even I have problems sometime. The problem is that not only does nobody know how to SPELL it, but they’re even too lazy to learn, OR look it up!
How freaking bad can things get? I only noticed this today too, when I misspelled something.
But that something was NOT the word ‘illiterate’.
M@RK
This morning I couldn’t find my belt.
I really hate going out without it, for two reasons. For one, I don’t have anything to keep the young children at bay, and secondly, my pants keep falling off my ass. That’s what scares me more, is that I may accidentally pants myself. All throughout school, I’ve heard that people have been pantsed, I’ve also seen it happen, not a very pretty sight. But what’s more humiliating that inducing that humiliation upon YOURSELF? I have to walk around with my hands in my pockets all day now because of this. The reason my pants don’t fit is because I can’t find the right size, they’re all either too big or too small, so I buy one that’s usually a size bigger than it needs to be, and even though I know they aren’t the right size, I buy more of the same pants because I need them. One way of pantsing yourself could come from sitting on the bus. I could get up, but my shirt could be caught under my butt, and when I stand up to fix it, my pants could ALSO come down. You know that dream where you come to school but forget your clothes, and are just wearing underwear? This is like that. Except I’m not even wearing THOSE. Self-Induced Pantsing has got to be up there in the category of “most embarassing things you can do to yourself in high school”. This group also includes not finding a date for the prom, going to prom with your mother because you can’t find a date, and ending the prom night by being the only guy who got any. In the immortal words of Edgar Allen Poe, “Here I sit all broken hearted, came to poop but only farted.”
Or something like that.
M@RK
They say that newspaper is dead. I’m pretty sure that the newspaper died sometime when I turned 13. I don’t see adults reading it anymore, and kids my age (’cept for those few genius’s) either can’t read or don’t want to. Everybody now gets their news online, and it’s gotten pretty sad. So there ya go. There’s good and bad points to this, so we’ll see what happens. For example, one bad thing is that, yeah, TONS of people will, once again, be unemployed, and we will lose a large part of our history, as the paper has been around for years. But here’s good part. Since everything is online now, it’s not real paper, and since it’s not real paper, that means that the newspaper not being around will conserve real paper. My brother got an ipod touch for christmas, and one of the things that amazed me is how much you can do on it. When the first computer came out, it was as huge as a wall, and now it’s evolved to an ipod touch, which has internet, music, movies and games all in one handheld device. Wall. Palm. In less than 30 years almost. THAT’S quick. What with the way everything is going, the paper won’t be around for much longer, that’s all I’m saying. I mean, what about all the comics? I guess they have their websites, but truthfully the only comic I read religiously (and yes, I do go to the church and pray to the creator of the strip as well) is ‘Dilbert’. It’s just a shame that here goes another part of our history.
Before we know it, computers will be being phased out because we will just have chips in our heads, and all we have to do is shut our eyes to see everything on our eyelids. Then we click a small device attached to the back of our hand, and we can go watch porn or read the news right there. That’s the future my friends.
www.eyelidnet.org
M@RK
My GF was reading a book last night, and in it was a good couple pages and scattered paragraphs about two people have sex on the side of the road in some bush (no pun intended) next to a car. I realized that this, along with healthbooks, are considered legal underage pornography. Basically, the rule is, you can’t buy porn until you are 18, HOWEVER, with this book, and other books like it, because I have seen some and read some myself, you can buy them and read them and get off to what the author has written. You’d have to be SERIOUSLY perverted to go THAT far to wank. The even WORSE part about this is the healthbook situation, because not only would an underage kid be READING this porn, but they’d be reading it AT SCHOOL! IN THEIR TEXTBOOK!
And as aweful as I made it sound, I think it’s actually a great way for horny pent up teens to jerk off without getting into any sort of legal trouble. Of course, I’ve got some weird views on things as it is, so, ya know, whatever. This was an awesome discovery nontheless, so I’m totally going to thank her for discovering it. Thank you!
M@RK
Macs and PCs have AMAZING features, I’m not gonna get into the stupid system war. BUT, they both are great at what they do. Unfortunatetly, Macs writing app (AppleWorks) went down the tube and they adapted MS Word, and Microsoft took Macs internet browser, Safari. So there’s a lot of cross gender platforms. I like to call it, “InterSystem Dating”. There’s interracial dating, where two people of a different race date, and there SHOULD as well be interreligious dating, where two people of a different religion date, I’m actually kinda surprised as HELL that it doesn’t exist already. But InterSystem Dating is when you mix platforms with apps from other platforms. It’s actually quite common, just today I was on Mac and using MS Word. Evenutally everything’s going to be in one console anyway, one monitor, a mac and a pc combined. It’ll be the super computer we’ve all been waiting for. It’ll run everything. And it shall be called:
“The Pac”.
Oh I’m good.
M@RK
ZIP IT PASSPORT SOCKS
Carry Your Passport Safely Out Of Sight
Want peace of mind when traveling? Keep your passport and cash securely
tucked in this zippered sock! You’ll always feel it right next to you,
and it’s easy access when crossing borders or registering at hotels.
Yes, this IS a true thing! My GF found it, bless her little weasel
sniffing heart. I say weasel sniffing because this is SUCH a weasel
idea. Your passport would wreek of foot stink and you would always be
handing it to people. As with money. However, you have to pay someone a
poket bet? Use the cash from your sock. That’ll teach them the agony of
DAFEET.
Ah yes, foot puns, I am such a HEEL.
M@RK
I have recently come to discover that the word BITCH is not bad AT ALL. There are other swear words like this, for example:
Hell
Damn
That’s actually it. I was going to put shit, but that one is still
considered bad, even though I don’t understand how a natural body
function can be considered bad. Whatever. The word BITCH is not bad.
Just like Hell is not bad. Hell is, supposedly, a place you can go to
when you die, and have been evil. Like Hitler, John Wilkes Booth, and
Janet Jackson. If said enough times in repeat, the word BITCH
eventually loses all feeling and meaning. I know this because yesterday
I said the word BITCH over and over and OVER AND OVER….and it got
stupid after a while, it started to sound like a normal word, and it
shares a similarity with HELL as in the idea that ‘it is a thing’. A
BITCH is a female dog, just like HELL is a place and SHIT is something
you do. They’re just different terms for them. That being said, I have
to admit I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable if some 6 year old came
into the kitchen and told his mother, “Mommy mommy, that bitch just
took a shit all over the carpet, now she’ll go to hell!”
THAT would be akward and unnacceptable, FUNNY, certainly, but akward and unnacceptable. Anyway, try the test, say it enough times, to someone, or to yourself, and eventually the word will lose all meaning and feeling, as with SHIT and HELL. That’s my logic. That’s my reasoning. You’re trying it. You’re my bitch.
M@RK
According to the scale in my bathroom, I have lost 30 pounds, which is odd because unbeknownst to me, I didn’t think I even HAD 30 pounds. I’ve always been fairly skinny, then I was aware I either gained some weight, or that a family of gophers had crawled up into my stomach through my anus and were living there for some time, because I did start to look kind of heavy. So I’ve either been “dieting” (not eating) very well, or I took a large dump and shat the little gophers out. Either way, I’ve lost 30 pounds. The odd thing to me, is how vain it makes me sound. I mean, looks are not important to me one bit, and if you see how I dress you’d know this for a fact. So why should this be such a big deal? I don’t know. I just know for the past 4 months or so I’ve felt great, and these past 2 weeks or so I’ve felt somewhat FANTASTIC. I know my GF has had a lot to do with that, in the making me feel better about myself part, but how did I lose 30 pounds? I don’t work out, or run laps or do ANYTHING physical, and the most “dieting” I do is either not eating dinner some nights at all because I lose track of time, or my mom makes me eat super healthy. I’ve stopped eating meat completely, so that’s been working out and maybe that has a lot to do with it. Other than that, don’t know. I guess it’s good though, my CCOC teacher says I look good, which is a good and creepy compliment to get from a nearing 60 year old guy.
But whatever, I’m skinnier than he is, so who cares.
M@RK
